FEATURE:
Days Are Gone?
IN THIS PHOTO: Este, Alana, and Danielle Haim/PHOTO CREDIT: Drew Le Fore Escriva/The Guardian/Eyevine/Redux
Why HAIM Defending Their Musicianship Against Sexist Comments Highlights a Deep-Rooted Toxicity and Misogyny
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I am not sure whether it ever happens…
PHOTO CREDIT: Kevin Winter/Getty Images for The Recording Academy
to male musicians, but you really get people going online questioning whether they play their own instruments. They’ll highlight them playing great or, if it is a bad gig, that they were not up to scratch. That can be insulting…but rarely do you get people asking if men are playing their own instruments. Whether it is a live performance or a studio cut, so many women in the industry have had their musicianship called into question. You would think, in 2023, that we should not have established women in music doubted regarding their credibility and authenticity! HAIM are Los Angeles sisters Este (bass guitar and vocals), Danielle (lead vocals, guitar, and drums), and Alana Haim (guitars, keyboards, and vocals). Their phenomenal debut album, Days Are Gone, is ten in September. Acclaimed upon its release, a tenth anniversary reissue is out soon. Amidst that anticipation and celebration of an important debut album coming up for its tenth anniversary, they spoke to NME. During the interview, they mentioned how people have commented as to whether the group, and specifically Este, actually play their instruments – like they were imposters that has men behind the scenes playing for them and piping it out to the audience, perhaps:
“Haim have responded to the constant doubt they receive from trolls about not actually playing their instruments when performing.
While chatting with NME about the 10th anniversary reissue of their 2013 debut album ‘Days Are Gone’ and their upcoming headlining slot at this year’s All Points East Festival, the sister trio – consisting of Danielle, Este and Alana Haim – also spoke about the hate they receive about their musicianship.
Back in June, the band played New York City’s Governors Ball Music Festival. In a clip posted to NME‘s Instagram of the band performing ‘My Song 5’, the band received a comment that read: “Is it just me or is that bassist just acting?”
The band replied: “Lol, I can’t believe this shit is still happening.” In a longer post shared on Haim’s Instagram Story, they wrote: “I’m so used to seeing this shit on every fucking video of us playing ever.”
“I’m so over it,” they continued. “Don’t ever say we don’t play our own fucking instruments.”
Now, while discussing the interaction in a new interview with NME, the trio revealed the true extent of the comments over their musical ability that they continue to receive.
“That video came up on my Instagram and I was like ‘Oh My God. that’s such a great video, wow!’,” recalled Danielle. “I think the thing that is really frustrating is… there will be amazing videos of us online playing our instruments really well and I’ll look at our comments [not that we sit and look at comments regularly] and I’ll just be shocked that people are still like ‘They’re not playing,’ ‘That’s not real,’ ‘They’re acting’. It’s unbelievable.
“It’s just really disappointing because that’s the thing we worked so fucking hard for our whole lives you know.”
Music has played a critical role within the sisters’ lives. Before Haim, they were in a band with their parents called Rockinhaim. Their father, Moti Haim, was a drummer and believed that music was important.
Alana shared: “We have been a band for 16 years but we have also been a band since we were children. We were in a band with our parents and have been playing since we were kids, so to then be a band for 16 years and and still have to prove ourselves… it never ends.
“It’s like ‘You don’t play your instruments, you don’t write your songs, you’re not a real band’. And it’s like, we’ve been here for 16 years and there’s no stopping yet.”
She continued: “We’re gonna keep going until we can’t fucking play anymore. So to be so proud of the work that we’ve done and then to see mostly men I mean, pretty much all men comment things that are not only just terrible about our looks but then on top of that, that we don’t fucking play our instruments is insanity.”
Este, the band’s bassist who the comment left under NME‘s video clip was aimed toward, weighed in and said: “It’s one thing to talk about the way we look, we don’t care, whatever. But the way we play? I will go toe to toe with whoever, whatever band wants to go toe to toe with me. I know how to play”.
This is neither an isolated incident or the last time that we will read about something like this (in fact, for a 2019 interview with The Guardian, HAIM talked about sexism and how they can stand toe to toe with any male group). The exasperation that HAIM expressed when they were challenged about whether they were playing. Whether Este was actually on the bass. She is just a naturally gifted player, so that is why it looked seamless! It is depressing that there are still these very sexist opinions about women with instruments. There have been articles written where women discuss the underlying sexism when it comes to playing an instrument. Even though attitudes are changing because of the visibility and emergence of more women in bands and playing at the front of the stage, it is still the opinion of many that performance and instruments are for men and women are more defined by songwriting and singing. It is a binary and outdated mindset that means, when you do get amazing bands like HAIM performing, their chops are called into question! I will come to a few awesome women in music who have faced the same judgment and sexism as HAIM have. Before that, and going back to that idea as to whether people define women as songwriter/singers and not musicians or imbued with any edge, this article is relevant. A misogyny pervades where we still think Rock and Rap for instance are male genres. That genres like Pop, where women dominate, are seen as inferior or weakened because they are less defined by instruments and riffs.
Melodies and Pop structures more feminine, whereas there is greater importance and relevance from male-led music. Often boys are encouraged to play instruments, whereas girls are not necessarily so. Maybe they will be guided to the piano rather than guitar, bass or drums. Things are changing there but, when you look at how some men perceive women in bands and wonder whether they are playing – or if they are miming and a man is playing away from the stage etc. -, it does infuriate and highlights how conversations about respecting and embracing women as musicians needs to happen frequently and urgently. The 2021 articles asks some interesting queries and posits theories which I want to bring in:
“You may notice that women and nonbinary artists are most plentiful in the pop and indie pop scene. Many other genres like rap, rock and country remain fairly male-dominated. You might also recall from aforementioned data that straight men don’t really listen to pop or any women or nonbinary artists. So why don’t men listen to pop? Why is the genre not respected? It’s a complex question. I suspect the answer is thanks to deep rooted misogyny thinly veiled as “an aversion to pop” (and coincidentally, to all female rappers and rockers). The story goes like this: From a very young age, boys are encouraged to master instruments, and girls are not. However, women are notoriously more attuned to their emotions than men due to a culture of toxic masculinity. That skill generally lends itself to a strength in songwriting and expressive vocal performance. Ultimately, the gender binary translated into music equates complicated instrumentation with male identity, and strong lyricism and songwriting with female identity.
It’s the classic sexist logic and reason versus emotion and passion dichotomy, just in music. Thus, pop is deemed feminine, rock is deemed masculine, etc. Of course, the complexity of your instrumentation doesn’t measure the greatness of a song. If it did, pop wouldn’t be one of the most popular and influential genres of all time. People don’t always want to hear 12 chords and random riffs; sometimes they want to hear simple melodies that get stuck in their heads, melodies that are relatable, that they can sing along to. Melodies and lyrics that make you feel something. In pop, melody has priority over instrumentation. That’s not “inferior.” It’s just a different type of musical expression. Because of this sexist framework, artists like Shawn Mendes, Justin Bieber and Harry Styles don’t have many male fans even though they’re men; their music is considered feminine and therefore inferior because of its pop structure. This binary doesn’t tell the whole story of course. Straight men don’t take female rappers or rockers seriously a lot of the time simply because they are women”.
IN THIS PHOTO: Hayley Williams (Paramore)/PHOTO CREDIT: Peyton Fulford for The New Yorker
I have mentioned this chat before but, at the end of last year, Wet Leg and Hayley Williams (Paramore’s lead) discussed sexism and expectations in the industry. As NME wrote, they have received the same sort of criticisms and sexism as HAIM have through their career. That feeling they cannot play instruments on stage in case they get offensive comments or people think they are faking it:
“Paramore‘s Hayley Williams has discussed sexism in music with Wet Leg, saying she doesn’t “dare” play guitar on stage due to sexist comments.
The artists were speaking to each other for a new podcast from The Face, when they discussed the higher bars set for female musicians in guitar-led spaces.
Wet Leg vocalist Rhian Teasdale said: “I think for us one of the hardest or most irritating things about being women is probably just the stupid comments on the internet like, ‘Oh she’s holding that guitar but she’s not actually playing it’.
She continued: “Like, for example, when I am just not using my guitar but then I need to play it in the chorus or something, there will always be a comment being like, ‘Girls shouldn’t play guitar, women shouldn’t play guitar,’ and it’s just like… it’s so dated but it’s still there! And I just hate it so much. It’s so frustrating.”
Williams added: “I know those people so well, and I don’t even play guitar on stage. I don’t even dare, because I love to play guitar but I don’t know if I could handle… man. I feel you so hard.
“I just hate that people even need to point it out,” she said. “I don’t even really think about my gender at all, when we play the music especially. It’s just not part of the picture. I’m trying to lean into femininity and empower that part of myself more in this era of my career, but do you ever get on stage and feel ‘other’? You feel like this alien thing that’s powerful and beautiful.”
Wet Leg’s Hester Chambers responded: “It’s a scary thing to be confronted with. When it’s just us being ourselves in a room, I’m not thinking about it at all. But as soon as you have a gig and an audience, you become a bit hyper-aware”.
Among the many conversations that need to happen around women in music and how they are perceived, the opportunities offered to them, and issues around parity and misogyny, we do need to stop doubting female musicians! Bands like HAIM play their own instruments and should not have to answer to people who think they don’t have the skills. Like their natural ability looks fake and they are miming their parts. They, nor any other woman in music, should have to prove themselves or justify why they should be taken as seriously as men. On a lighter note, HAIM’s Days Are Gone is ten in September. The title is almost ironic when we use it to ask whether the kind of sexism and misogyny they have faced still exists. It is sadly alive and well. Those dark days are still here! Go and listen to Days Are Gone and pre-order the 10th Anniversary Deluxe Anniversary. It is a remarkable introduction from…
A wonderful trio.