FEATURE: A Girl Called Kate: The One Word That Started It All…


A Girl Called Kate


ALL PHOTOS (unless credited otherwise): Unsplash 

The One Word That Started It All…


THIS will be a short(ish) one…


but is an article that takes me back to the creation of this blog. I cannot name the ‘Kate’ in question – in case, on the off-chance, she is reading! We fell apart, more or less, a couple of years ago today – or it might have been a few! (It was definitely in February, I know that). Regardless...a few points need to be explained. The first is that, until that point, we were getting on really well - and were often in communication with one another. There was a silly miscommunication that, essentially, destroyed a years-long bond and understanding that was, to me, very important. Another thing to add: we never met in the years we knew one another. At the beginning – which I shall get to – she was working in a Mayfair office and was riding the Tube when I emailed her back in 2011. I was impressed by her blog – I probably shouldn’t name it; lest people snoop – but there was a feature that got me interested and struck my heart…and, in a way, led to me forming a blog. Nowadays; she lives down near the New Forest and runs a business with her boyfriend. She has transitioned from acting – she was auditioning and performing smaller roles – and is now settled in a different part of her life. I am not sure whether she still has that spark and desire for acting: I suspect she is too busy with her business and thinking about settling down.


She is a few years younger than me and, when I contacted her back in 2011; I felt like there was a like-minded soul out there who ‘got me’ – despite the fact she had no idea who I was. Before a series of emails and chats; I contacted Kate to tell her how I loved her blog and why this one piece, that investigated the power of music and how it got her through a breakup, resonated with me. On the back of that one piece of writing; I started my own blog and tried to reason why music came into my life – and what it means to me. I was compelled to email Kate and explain to her why her words struck my mind and I thought, after that, this would be it. She was on the Tube and said she would email me back, fully, later. After that; we exchanged emails and built up an (ersatz) friendship that revolved around music and what it meant to us. It was a great time and, although I never got to see her; I remember that time fondly and connecting with a very special person. The fact things broke down so rapidly still affects me but, I know, there is nothing I can do to salvage things. We have both moved on and she is different from the woman I connected with years ago – although, there is that spirit and core that has inspired everything I have done since.   


PHOTO CREDIT: Getty Images

In the piece I read of hers, there was a word she underlined: focus. Through all her turmoil and breakup, there was that clarity and need to keep going through it all. She was heartbroken and, listening to Noah and the Whale’s Blue Skies (from their album, The First Days of Spring); was simultaneously reminded of her relationship and given me the power to work things out - and take comfort in the music. Such a stirring song provided her guidance and, thinking about it now, I am transported back to those evocative email exchanges and someone being so honest and open with somebody they had never met. In truth, I miss her dearly which should not really be the case seeing as we have not contacted one another for such a long time. I think it was the things we had in common and the way music connected us both that left such an imprint. That one post – and the need to ‘focus’ – made me re-evaluate where I was at the time (where I am not: in a sh*t job where I do not want to be) and looking to make something of life. I think I am much further along than I was back in 2011. In some ways, I am rooted – not that much further in terms of living situation and happiness – but my work has started, developed and hit heights.


That single interaction (that started the friendship) opened my eyes and forged me with somebody I wanted to know more about and discover what made her tick. Before long; I understood why she loved Noah and the Whale and what significance they held. The same goes for The National and Arcade Fire. Not only did Kate’s great taste in music impact me but the ambitions she held and how she managed to overcome hurdles and hurt. It is debatable whether I would have a blog were it not for her but, rather than talk about those emails and my ‘friendship’ with Kate; I thought it best to pass on the lessons I have learned and why writing a blog has brought me so much pleasure. I never met Kate but got to know a lot about her family and ambitions. At times; I was a confidante and someone she would share secrets with. Through all the emails and words we shared; it was that one that stuck in the mind: the need to focus and find clarity in bad situations. My response that to what word was to set a blog up and channel frustrations and curiosities. I had never really thought about focus and why I needed to. That sounds strange but, reading a brave woman show fortitude after being let down made me decipher what was important in life and what I wanted to achieve.


Within weeks; I was planning my blog and writing those first pieces for Music Musings and Such. That was over six years ago now and, since then, I have made great connections and grown more confident as a writer. I guess this is a florid and roundabout way of suggesting why people should write and start a blog. We often feel, in this day and age, sociability is becoming a less tangible and human thing. We spend so much time on computers and do not get out there as often as possible. As much as I abide by the notion we need to spend less time on social media: if I had not made that connection years ago; I would not be writing this and, as a result, would have missed out on all the music, people and moments. Maybe I would have taken a different approach to life and ‘settled’ – that sounds positively awful and boring. I am thankful I took a chance and got in touch with a human I felt close to on the strength of a single post in a blog. The fact she responded and we enjoyed a few years of communication means a lot to me. If I were to go back and do what I did before we lost touch then, yes, I would do it again – I was in the right and felt aggrieved I was shut away.


I have no bitterness and regrets about the time and, actually, feel it was one of the most important and transformative experiences of my adult life. My blog has been going for over six years and I hope to keep it going for a few more years yet. Anyone who is unsure how to foster a love of music or communicate something they cannot say in real life; hopefully they will take heart from my story and how I came to write. If I overlooked this blog and did not contact a stranger to tell her how much her words meant to me then I would not have got the response and, after that, embarked on a friendship with someone I grew quite close to. Her relationship with music – and how it helped get her through hard times – stays with me now and is in the back of my mind when I need guidance and that voice that tells me I am doing the right thing. I look back and how far I have come: I am looking forward and asking myself what I can achieve and where I can go from here. Something big, productive and special stemmed from a tiny, accidental acorn that arrived one day when, in truth, I was looking for a distraction. That happy discovery set me on a course that has changed who I am and made me think bigger and bolder. It can happen for everyone out there – anyone who needs a kick and a new adventure. It is hard to believe it all began with a blog post, a Noah and the Whale song and…

A girl called Kate.